I miss Him.
2006-05-18 12:21 a.m.

How do I begin?? The other day I wrote a comment to an old friend of mine and it was something like this:

I wanna bite you.. you're so biteable.. um.. i mean... hi.. how ya been?

His reply to my comment:

teese! err internet floosie! lmao

MY reply:

what!? i strongly resent that!! youre talkin about me being a tease! im not the one talking about "not the first time I made your shit blue.......prob not the last!!!!! (=" ! ..$%..^%(!!

im hurt :( ...kiss it better?

His reply to this was:

if you didn't notice she wrote that just for you . its like some stupid sick game where two people who i haven't seen in the last 5-6 years can flirt and hit on me ( me do it back ofcoarse) and even have imaginary cat fights over me , its wonderful! every pathetic , guy's dream.... lol and you have now confused me saying her comment was more teasing than you are. considering , she is locked down with 2 kids and a deep loved relationship (considering the best) and you , well now you are slightly feasable ( thinking distance) , sexy , and untouched in my records which makes you more tempting now that you are so blaintent with your advances , you sly dog you..... ha ha ha im such a fucking geek . anyhow i WILL kiss (lick, rub , swallow , pich , nibble ) anything better but i will not apologize!!!! unless only to say i am SORRY for not dealing with you when i did live there. : )

P.S. i just realized how screwed it sounds saying i didn't " Deal With You " while i lived there. translation >>" Deal with" = doin' it!!! ewwww

You see, we are quite some miles apart because here I am in RI and he's in Lousiana.. and when he was here, he was in like a 3 year relationship with my friend [I won't say "best friend" cause I don't think she was that..].. Anyway.. he's always liked me even before they were together and I always liked him except I was always pretty intimidated by him..

Now it's all coming out. All the things we have ever wanted to say or ever wanted to do.. and it sucks because he wants me to come down to see him and take a vacation.. but I don't have the money and I don't think my "boyfriend" would like that very much.. Plus-- I don't know if I could bring myself to leave. That's the main reason i am afraid of going down there.. I know when the time comes, I won't be able to bring myself to go .. although I have a feeling that half of him will feel the same way while the other half of him would probably want me to go..

Nonetheless, it's amazing how distance can give you courage-- aka BALLS -- to say all the things you wish you could have before. It's not just amazing but also very sad.

I miss Him.